| The Declaration of Independence for Modern Readers
A Satire
by Matt Neuman (07/04/2000)
Given the recent trend to modernize classic works of literature, it seemed logical to modernize one of the great works of American literature: the Declaration of Independence. Jefferson and Co.'s affirmation of freedom and democracy is a wonderful document, but it simply doesn't speak to the current generation of TV-addicted zombies who wouldn't know a remote power from a remote control. With its archaic language and references to an unfamiliar, non-digital world, the D of I is sorely in need of an update to take it into the 21st Century. Hopefully this new version will be taught in our grade schools and civics classes, and a paper copy of it will replace the aging original now decomposing in the National Archives. |  |
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| | The Coinage Act of 1792
by United States Congress (04/02/1792)
Still in effect today, the Coinage Act of 1792 establishes the rules for regulating the coins of the United States of America as per the US Constitution. Interesting to note, debasing the currency by any officer of the government is punishable by death. | |
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